Monday, November 1, 2010

I'll see better when the smoke clears inside my head

My momma always said "sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you."
I always hated it when she lied.


Words hurt.


We need to talk


Everyone thinks you're insane


You will never amount to anything more than a housewife


There are certain things that I know: 
There is more to me that I know, and If I can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of my life I will be unwilling to settle for less. I know this. 
I also know that No one can make me feel inferior without my consent. Thank you Eleanor Roosevelt.


I don't know why people change their minds or feel the need to contradict themselves. I don't know why he looked at me like that Saturday night. I don't know why my best friend and I fight about stupid things. I don't know why my fingers and toes are always frigid. 


I feel like damaged goods. That maybe they were right, I am insane and won't amount to anything more than a housewife. When will I come first?  When will i be worth that kind of risk? They say that everything is okay in the end, and if it isn't okay then it isn't the end.  But as I get older my desire to be alone increases,  Am I so dissatisfied with my fellow man that I prefer to sit alone with my coffee and think? Or am I just dissatisfied with myself? 


I don't know if I'm doing anything right, but I am certain that I'm trying. And for now, that is good enough.  That'll do pig. That'll do. 

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